Also, because I forgot in the previous post, but today is a month since I flew out to England. Today a month ago was when my first post, carefully scheduled to go up while I was travelling went live and this whole thing started. I’ve really been enjoying this and thanks to everyone who has been following my adventures. My mum emailed me this quote today, and I feel like I had been struggling to put into words how I felt about coming back to England and then I read this quote and it describes it perfectly.
“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” – Miriam Adeney
It feels as though I spent a lot of time in South Africa wanting to go ‘home’ to England and then finally getting here and thinking that I wanted to go ‘home’ to SA, which has been quite confusing and a little difficult to deal with. It’s more than that disapointment you get when you imagine something to be greater than it is, because where you call ‘home’ is a big part of who you are. Sometimes I find it a little difficult to work out where home is, and it isn’t helped when people here constantly ask where I see myself living in a few years or where they think I’ll end up or when I’m coming back for good. I don’t know how to answer because I honestly don’t know the answer. That’s the best thing and the worst thing about moving a lot – you can’t stay in one place for too long, however much you’d like to sometimes. And so maybe one day I might be left with hundreds of places called ‘home’ scattered all over the place and maybe I’ll be okay with that. And maybe it’s just like that song by, I think Nadia Fay, and home is not a house but a feeling. However hard that is sometimes to accept.
Here’s to more adventures, and more ‘home’.