“a status between belief and disbelief, involves uncertainty or distrust or lack of sureness of an alleged fact, an action, a motive, or a decision.”
Doubt is something that is always there, in the back of our minds. It’s that tiny voice that asks you should you really be doing that? It’s in that hesitation in your feet when you’re deciding whether to go left or right. Doubt is that literal black cloud in cartoons that hovers over your head and makes you second guess every decision you make, and every thing you do.
Doubt is a very powerful thing. It can stop you from doing incredible things and I think everyone needs to be able to deal with doubt and self-doubt especially because we all have such amazing potential that shouldn’t be wasted.
I’ve come up with three ways to help you overcome some of your doubt – and let me know in the comments if you have any ways of dealing with doubt by yourself.
1. Dealing With The Decision Making Doubt
This doubt sucks. You can be very confident in your choices – whatever they may be: university, friends, topics for essays, colour of your prom dress, etc. – but it will only take a second for you to start doubting your own opinion and wondering if whatever you are deciding is wrong. My first little bit of advice would be to go with your gut instinct. It might be a cliche but it is a tried and tested method – usually your first impression is the right one. This is also a good way to make decisions quickly, by not overcomplicating things that could be very simple. Try saying yes to the first thing that you really like and you know that you won’t be disappointed by and go with it. This also works if you are very indecisive even with small decisions. I can take hours trying to decide on what food to pick off of a restaurant menu, so I have to force myself to quickly read it over, and settle for the first thing that caught my eye. I know that I’m going to like it, so I won’t over stimulate myself with lots of decisions.
So, in conclusion, keep it simple and don’t bring lots of options into the equation – and trust your gut.
2. Dealing With The I Can’t Do This Doubt
Yes you can. That’s the main point here. That little voice telling you that you can’t finish the project or that you can stand up in front of those people, or that you can confront your friend or whatever the problem is that you are facing – that little voice is lying. You are very capable of doing many things that you can’t even begin to imagine – we are all capable of incredible feats of bravery and strength. And I’m not talking about climbing Mount Everest or saving someones life – though that is true – I’m talking about the things that we are all scared of. You have your own obstacles to overcome inside your head and they might feel as huge as Mount Everest but they might actually just be as small as phoning someone to book an appointment. If you have anxiety about phoning people – that’s a big obstacle for you, and that’s okay.
Sometimes all you need is someone to tell you that you can do it, but more importantly you need to tell yourself that you can do it. Write yourself notes – or lists – of reasons why you can do it. Sometimes sitting down and taking a little break from the problem and planning everything through will show you that you can in fact do it. If you plan out a little time line of writing that essay, or outline the conversation that you are going to have on the phone, it will make it easier to achieve because you know what is coming – and often that doubt stems from a lack of knowledge about the future.
Conclusion: take a break from the problem and plan out how you can achieve it.
3. Dealing With The Monster of Self Doubt
Self doubt is probably one of the worst things that you can have. Self doubt is the voice in the back of your head that says “I’m not good enough”. Here’s a life hack: you are good enough. Wow, mind blowing, I know. The problem is that for many of us it is incredibly hard to realise this. It is easy to say that you just need to look at the positive in everything and balance out the negative, but isn’t as easy to actually achieve this. I live with a lot of doubt, like a lot of people. I doubt the clothes that I wear, the make up decisions that I make, the friends I have, the food I eat and even the blog posts that I write – because I have a lot of doubt in my own abilities. Often I realise this, I know deep down that my decisions are the right ones, but it much easier to let your mind wander off into the dark thoughts than it is to keep them positive.
I have a few systems in place to try and boost my daily positive outlook about myself – the main one being postik notes. I stick them everywhere – literally everywhere – with positive messages or positive reminders to do things that I love. Sometimes all you need is a tiny boost of confidence. In the same line of confidence boosting I have a lot of positive desktop backgrounds. I downloaded a lot of beautiful backgrounds from an awesome blog, Design Love Fest, which often has free downloads of beautifully designed mobile and desktop backgrounds. I put them on rotate and it sometimes makes a big difference on a bad day just to read a positive quote or word. Another easy fix is to be with positive people – if you’re feeling a lot of doubt about something go and get your friends or family who you trust will give a positive opinion and ask for their advice. Those people can see what you can’t because of your own self doubt – and they can show you that amazing potential that you have inside yourself.
Conclusion: give yourself daily boosts of confidence, even when you’re not feeling doubtful, and surround yourself with positive people.
Here is another great article about dealing with Self Doubt if you would like to read a bit more about it.
So, this has been a little bit of a different post today – I hope you this can help some of you out with your doubt in some way. Let me know what you think about this sort of post in the comments below, and also tell me about any of your experiences with doubt and how you dealt with it.
I have a lot of posts lined up for this week and I’m super excited to share them all with you, so stay in touch by following me via email, on Bloglovin’ or on any of my social media – the links are all in the side bar on the right. I hope you all have a good week!